Title: Of Poseidon Series: Of Poseidon #1
Author Anna Banks
Release Date: May 22, 2012
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
Page Count: 326
Genre(s): Paranormal
Source: Purchased
Summary from Goodreads:
Galen is the prince of the Syrena, sent to land to find a girl he's heard can communicate with fish. Emma is on vacation at the beach. When she runs into Galen—literally, ouch!—both teens sense a connection. But it will take several encounters, including a deadly one with a shark, for Galen to be convinced of Emma's gifts. Now, if he can only convince Emma that she holds the key to his kingdom...Told from both Emma and Galen's points of view, here is a fish-out-of-water story that sparkles with intrigue, humor, and waves of romance.
As a general rule, I don’t read books I know I won’t like. Much as I’m tempted, sometimes, to give in to a bad case of morbid curiosity, I don’t. Reading books I don’t enjoy isn’t fun, and writing reviews for those books isn’t fun either. It’s a no-win situation. When the reviews for Of Poseidon started circulating, about six months ago, I promptly put this book off of my to-read list and didn’t give it a second thought. I don’t have the time or patience to suffer through reportedly sexist and idiotic mermaid books. But I guess that when I decided to let my “friends” pick the books I read next, I opened myself up for semi-self-inflicted torture. Of Poseidon found its way back on my to-read list a few weeks ago, and I really wish it hadn’t.
My thoughts on this novel can be neatly divided into three sections. This review is also heavy on quotes, because I really think Of Poseidon speaks for itself.
1. THE SEXISM
Obviously, the biggest complaint that accompanies Of Poseidon is the blatant and unapologetic sexism Anna Banks portrays. It is an issue, and though it’s been addressed more eloquently and thoroughly by other reviewers, I’ll say it again. There is nothing wrong with simply portraying a sexist society; there is, however, something wrong with condoning it. I feel about this book similarly to the way I felt about Crewel—whatever the author’s actual intent, it appears that Banks approves of the deeply sexist society she portrays. And that’s not acceptable. Especially when it’s coupled with the ridiculous amounts of hypocrisy these characters show.
For instance, Galen’s sister Rayna has been mated against her will and without her knowledge to Toraf. Toraf spends most of his time chasing Rayna around and sexually assaulting her. She fights back against him, and even Emma wonders why she’s being so cold. But when Galen starts chasing after Emma, Toraf tells him to stop; chasing a woman is wrong and will reap no results. WHAT?
Additionally, when Emma finds out that the mermaid society is inherently sexist and that Rayna is being forced to mate against her will, she freaks out. Rightly so. But after spending a few hours with Galen, she accepts that Rayna will just have to deal with Toraf, and she even goes so far as to help Toraf trick Rayna into admitting that’s she’s actually been in love with him this whole time. Again, WHAT?
And even though this quote has been making the rounds for months now, I’m still going to include it, because I think it’s very indicative of who Galen, this book’s main love interest, is.
“Why couldn’t I find a suitable mild-tempered female to mate with? [...] He scours his memory for a sweet-natured Syrena who would take care of him, who would do whatever he asked, who would never argue with him.” (85%)
Need I say more?
2. THE ROMANCE
Though I think that Galen’s atrocious behavior toward Emma was informed by his sexist upbringing, I place it in a separate category, simply because Emma’s participation in the romance only compounded things. Much like the relationship in Twilight, the romance between Galen and Emma exhibits several signs of abuse/co-dependence. Galen is a creepy stalker guy who demands perfect obedience, and Emma is a spineless beauty who blushes and turns to goo whenever she gets a good look into Galen’s gorgeous violet eyes.
Within the first few chapters, Galen grabs Emma hard enough to bruise, scares her badly enough that she runs away from him, and stalks her fairly hardcore. But she continues to hang out with him and daydream about kissing him.
“I try to pinch him again, but he catches my wrist and pulls me over his lap like a child getting a spanking.” (29%)
That scene was after maybe two days of acquaintance, just so you know.
Eventually (and completely unrelated to Galen’s abusive treatment of her), Emma breaks up with Galen. She then goes out on a date with a nice boy who’s had a crush on her since middle school, and who she liked a lot before meeting Galen. Of course, this doesn’t fly with Galen, since he follows Emma and her date, stands outside their car, creeps along, makes threats, and generally acts like a psycho. And Emma takes him back. But even worse for me was what Emma had to say on the issue:
“I’ve abandoned my hurt for rage o-plenty, struck by the realization that I’ve turned into ‘that girl.’ Not the one who exchanges her doctorate for some kids and a three-bedroom two-bath, but the other kind. That girl who exchanges her dignity and chances for happiness for some possessive loser who beats her when she makes eye contact with some random guy working the hot dog stand. [...]
“He acted like a lunatic tonight, stalking me to Atlantic City, blowing up my phone, and threatening my date with physical violence. He made serial-killer eyes…” (89%)
EXCUSE ME. While Emma doesn’t quite beat out Bella Swan in my book, she came pretty damn close. Does she have no brains at all?
3. THE WRITING
Anna Banks is not a good writer. There’s really no way to put it nicely, and that’s it. I truly and honestly wonder how Of Poseidon was published, because sexist themes and abusive relationship aside, the writing is fairly awful.
First off, Banks didn’t even bother to research the mythology she borrowed from. It’s explicitly stated in this book that Poseidon and Triton were brothers. Uh, no. Actually, Triton was Poseidon’s son. And since I found that information on Wikipedia, I’m putting down that mistake as pure laziness on the author’s part.
And then, there was just the awful word-choice that permeated practically every page of this book.
“The shark turns, saunters away as if sulking.” (8%)
Right now, I want you to visualize a sauntering shark. I’ll wait. Now tell me honestly: is there ANY context where that image is not hilarious? Because I can’t think of one.
“Emma whimpers into the sanctity of his chest.” (33%)
Well, the truth is out, and here it is: Galen is actually God. Jesus Christ version 2.0—The Holy Mackerel.
…
Just let all of that sink in.
Viewer’s Choice Reviews is a feature here at Respiring Thoughts where you, my viewers, get to pick what I read and review. This is a great opportunity to interact with me and share your favorite (or least favorite) titles. I welcome any and all recommendations, so please don’t hesitate to participate. Learn more about this feature and submit your own recommendation HERE!
Thanks to Christina for recommending Of Poseidon to me! I really appreciate it. (Or in this case…not so much, LOL.)
Next time on Viewer’s Choice: Faking Faith by Josie Bloss
See you then!
I haven’t read Of Poseidon(nor do I wish to), but the things you talk about in your review make me so sad/mad. I really hope we can soon push pass sexism, rape culture, and general misogyny in books. There are few things worse than reading a book and realizing that instead of a good story, you have to deal with all those issues.
Stormy recently posted…A Letter To: Fictional Female Characters
Or if, say, the premise actually is pretty decent, but it’s buried beneath all that other crap. Worst thing ever.
But yeah, I probably wouldn’t recommend this to anyone except people who are insanely curious. Or those who thought the romance in Twilight was the best thing ever. So yeah.
Haha, I probably enjoyed this one for the same reasons I enjoyed Twilight – I thought it was a lot of fun. I definitely recognized all the things you mentioned, but I didn’t mind them. I mostly excused the Syrena’s behaviours because they were a completely different race than humans – if you were reading about aliens, would you expect them to have the same morals as humans? Emma, on the other hand, is human and should have run screaming from someone who was so controlling.
Kelly recently posted…Mid-Series Novellas: Nuisance or Necessity?
I honestly wouldn’t have minded Galen so much had he shown any sign of change. This could have been a FANTASTIC book if Emma’d grown a backbone and whipped him into shape. But, sadly, she didn’t, and I was left feeling that Banks either wasn’t aware of her sexist characters or didn’t care. Oh well! The sequel should be interesting though, haha.
I applaud you for making it through this awfulness. And I’m really glad you did, because I find your critical review very interesting. This one is mostly getting outraged, ranty reviews (mine included), so an actual critique was nice. I was super tempted to request the sequel from NetGalley to see if it’s any better, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I’m just wondering, since you didn’t mention it: how did you feel about that “shocking twist” of an ending? *rolls eyes*
Angie F. recently posted…Twilight Month Kick-Off!
I tried REALLY HARD to rant, but this book left me so dead inside that I had no snark to drawn from.
The ending: well, haha, it obviously wasn’t super shocking to me, but by that time I was pretty much done with the book, so I wasn’t expecting it really. Definitely lame, though.
Aw, boo. But the critique works without being snarky.
Yeah, I felt the same. I was just glad to have it end.
Angie F. recently posted…Twilight Month Kick-Off!
I saw the second book of this series in Netgalley and was curious about it. But now that I’ve read some reviews (yours + others on GR), I don’t think I’ll pick it up. The sexism is just no.
Charlie recently posted…Review: Emergency: Wife Lost and Found
Yeah…I don’t know. If you could possibly excuse the sexism, you might enjoy it more, but then you still have to deal with the MC who doesn’t seem to care that she’s in love with a sexist jerk. LOL
Eeek I am happy that I stayed away from this one, I think that I would definitely feel much the same as you about it. I honestly don’t know how you made it all the way through. I was reading your updates and chuckling as you made your way through it. Fantastic review!
Jenni @ Alluring Reads recently posted…Stacking the Shelves (45)
It took me 3 days to buck up and finish this! That’s a LONG time for me. But I live to amuse my friends, so it seemed like I succeeded in that.
Plus Christina hates me.
Wow…. That’s all I can say… I feel really stupid now not realizing all of the problems with this book. It’s not like I loved Of Poseidon, it’s a fairly readable book in terms of plot and pacing. Still, something felt wrong that made me raise my eyebrows every other minute. What in the world was the point of this book? Not to mention the head banging with the chest thing being kind of sketchy. So… I’m guessing you’re not going to plan to read Of Triton any time soon…… By the way, those quotes were so hilarious!
Angie @YA Novelties recently posted…Kiss Me Blog Tour: Review of Stalk Me by Jillian Dodd and Giveaway
Uhh, actually I might read Of Triton! I agree that this book is a lot of fun, and I was surprisingly engaged in the story overall. But even though I kind of liked reading it, I can’t overlook the problems I found here. Hence the 1 star rating.
LOL! How was Of Triton? Or are you posting a review of it soon? I guess even with its problems, it’s like a drug, you can’t deny how cute it is.
Angie @YA Novelties recently posted…Cover Reveal: An Endless Summer by CJ Duggan Plus a Sneak Preview
Oh, I haven’t read Of Triton. But I haven’t flat-out written it off the record yet.
You are so welcome for this.
Rayna was the only character I liked, because she was all “you guys can’t tell me what to do; I’m not marrying this asshat I don’t love,” but then it’s suddenly all “no means yes, I DO love him, but was playing hard to get.” This is about the time I had to resist throwing my Kindle into the wall.
Ew. I do not remember that quote. What I do remember is that one reviewer proposed marriage to Galen in her review and I was HORRIFIED.
Bleh. Spanking is not sexy. I know lots of people like it, but I DO NOT GET IT. The whole attracted to the naughty child idea creeps me right the fuck out.
Also, don’t forget that after the first two chapters, Emma completely forgets about her friend who was eaten by a shark RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER EYES.
Sauntering shark. Bahahahaha. HOLY MACKEREL. You are hilarious. I don’t know why you think you’re not funny.
Christina (A Reader of Fictions) recently posted…Review + Guest Post: Things I Can’t Forget Blog Tour
“Oh, Galen, marry me and we will have beautiful violet-eyed children and you can smack them around and stalk them all you want! Forget Emma.” Uhm, BLECH!
Ryan’s was the only sane person in the entire book until the part where she turned nuts and decided that she liked Toraf. Way to screw up, Banks.
Also: I worked REALLY hard on my holy mackerel joke, and for once I do agree on my hilariousness. It’s 1 of only 2 jokes I’m proud of.
The review legit said “Galen, marry me.” And I was like SOMEONE NEEDS COUNSELING.
When Rayna revealed it had all been playing hard to get, that’s basically when Anna Banks decided to punch feminism in the face. Let’s not teach teen boys that no actually means yes, please!
What’s the other one?
Christina (A Reader of Fictions) recently posted…Review + Guest Post: Things I Can’t Forget Blog Tour
I made a joke about cheese in my review for Glass Heart. It wasn’t as good as the mackerel one, though.
I’m sorry that this book made it back on your To Read shelf… I didn’t hate the book, but I really didn’t love it either, it was one of those books that just didn’t matter to me. I found there was some good humour throughout that kept me going, but I completely understand your thoughts. I probably won’t read the rest of the series, and yet I know when I finished it I kind of wanted to know where she would take the series because the ending was just like what are you doing moment
Andrea @Cozy Up With A Good Read recently posted…Review: Requiem by Lauren Oliver
The ending was just ridiculous (in a slightly engaging way, of course). It was an obvious twist, but it does open up some interesting pathways. But still: sexism and abuse = gross.
Hrm, I will be staying far away from this one… like a sauntering shark – hah!
Meg @ A Bookish Affair recently posted…Giveaway: Life of Pi Blu Ray!
Good plan, I say! Just saunter right on by.
I don’t know why so many people recommend this book to me if it’s so obviously sexist. I’m not a huge Twilight fan because I hate over-protective and controlling guys in general, so I don’t think I would have liked this book anyway if the male lead had similar characteristics. It’s too bad, because I’ve been waiting to read a good mermaid book. Guess I’ll have to wait until the next mermaid book comes out.
Janita @ Book, Interrupted recently posted…Top Ten Tuesdays! (7)
Yeah, I don’t know. A lot of my close friends enjoyed this in spite of the issues because the story is undeniably fun and compelling. This book has a certain addicting quality, and Emma was slightly more interesting than Bella.
Off the top of my head, I can’t honestly think of a mermaid book that’s supposed to be really good, which is sad.